http://www.julieleung.com/archives/001903.html

Thank you, mobile jones, for sharing your story and wisdom.

My parents were good people who wanted me to be a good person. I was a head strong and precocious kid. My parents warned me that if I got into to trouble at school I would be in trouble at home too. Taking this communication literally, I never reported to my parents that a mentally ill woman, my 2nd grade teacher, had began to exercise her anger at being “demoted” to teach 6 year olds from teaching 4th graders by hitting me everyday of the school year. She said I was bad, and my punishment became part of the school day: morning lessons, lunch, recess, hit me, afternoon lessons, then go home. See, it became normal for the whole class. A daily occurance.

Fear of being hit twice per day (hadn’t my parents promised it?) I never told anyone. You may think the other kids might have told, but we were all in fear, and the other kids said to me more than once, “I’m glad it isn’t me.” I think they were afraid that if something made her stop hitting me that she would pick out of them, instead. The teacher was an adult. She was “in charge” of us. We were six years old, and didn’t possess knowledge of bad adults much less what to do about them.

My mother recalls one morning when I begged her to come to school with me. I wouldn’t stop asking and seemed to her to be desparate that she go with me. She felt something was wrong, that I was fearful, but couldn’t figure it out. My mother asked me why I wanted her there. I only resumed my pleading. She thought is was a separation thing. Once at school, I again begged her to stay and cried when she left. I never asked again.

A year later at a parents open house night I was outted. One of my classmates came up to say hi to me and my parents. He introduced himself and laughed. He said, “Remember last year when Mrs. Malloy hit you everyday? Guess you’re glad that’s over.”

Of course, my parents were horrified. They explained too late that when they warned me of getting into trouble at school meant getting into trouble at home was reserved for those instances when my punishment was deserved. They made the mistake of thinking my six year old mind understood an adult distinction. To be fair, I believe they thought a teacher doing such a thing was unimaginable.

What happened to the teacher? She had already left the school before the night I was outted by my classmate. So, nothing happened to her.

The second instance was being informed of danger before it showed up on a summer day.

I was 12 and on my bicycle headed to the neighborhood baseball park. I stood outside a convenience store drinking a soda when a man drove up. He explained that he was lost and asked for directions. I provided them, and he explained that he would feel safer if I could go with him to show him the way. He said he was afraid, and that he might get lost. He asked where I was going, and I told him. He promised to bring me back to the ball park afterwards, and buy me a soda.

I looked at his truck, and at this large man and wondered how he could feel afraid. I asked where he was going. There was already a sense that something wasn’t right, and when he responded to my question I experienced a huge rush of adreneline. The neighborhood he said was his destination was the subject of a movie all girls in my class were shown 2 years earlier.

The movie was about stranger danger. Two girls age 9 and 10 were abducted and taken to “that” neighborhood, Bayview. They were murdered. They had been beaten to death. I can still recall the shocking image of their bloodied and unrecognizable faces on little girls bodies.

I ran inside the store and got the owner telling her that a man had tried to pick me up. By the time we got back outside, he was gone. The description of his truck was the same as the one the police were searching for in connection with the murder of those girls. I’m convinced that seeing the horrible and shocking images in that movie saved my life.

So what am I saying? Make sure that your children know that not all adults are good people. Make sure that your children know that you will protect them. Make sure that your children know you will always listen. Let them know that nothing they tell you can hurt you (whether this is true is beside the point). That it is the right thing to do to tell you when someone hurts them. Tell them more than you are comfortable with, and always speak to them in language that a child can understand. Communicate with them often and openly. I’m convinced this is your best weapon against those who would prey on children.

On the subject of “where was God?”, as an agnostic atheist, I don’t have much of an answer for you. However, my fiancée, a fairly devout Christian, who is a veteran of a childhood rape has a site where she has written about her experiences and also has a note from her pastor about the subject. You might be interested since it might address some of your questions: http://www.river-crossing.org/Jnote.php

Professor Lessig is truly very courageous and a real hero.

We’ve been fighting in New Jersey to be heard in the state’s courts, but New Jersey is one of three states that seems to protect non-profits from lawsuits by virtue of the state’s Charitable Immunity Act.

Victims have been waging a parallel battle in the legislature to have a bill posted that would end charitable immunity in cases of child sexual abuse, but we can’t get the Assembly Speaker, Albio Sires, to post the legislation.

It would be very helpful if we could flood Mr. Siries’ office with e-mails asking him to post the legislation for a vote. PLEASE e-mail the Assemblyman at:

asmsires@njleg.org

For more information:

http://www.FixTheLaw.org
http://www.AmericanBoyschoir.com