Or rather my apology for August, what there was, or wasn’t. It was the kind of month where I could have frequented a crying bar. It was intense. It was tiring. It affected my blogging. I went postless, like Katherine. Somehow my statistics say that an-almost record number of people still stopped by this blog last month.
But I want to apologize that I haven’t been updating my celebration column. I also meant to blog about the RNC at least once but the week disappeared. I think I only listened to one hour of the convention this time. I’ve been busy with the family and homeschooling. I used to feel guilty when I didn’t post. But then I realized that I am writing about being a wife and mom of three. If I am living what I am writing then I won’t have time to post all the time.
Most of all, I want to blog because I want to blog. Not because I feel I have to live up to expectations I have set for myself. As danah boyd wrote this week Expectations kill the passion. […] For me (and many of my friends), blogging is an exercise of love…
I’d rather write here when I have the time and energy, then feel I should try to force something out of me and onto the page. The first is creative joy, like painting with watercolors or shaping clay, while the second is mechanical routine like stamping forms or squeezing toothpaste.
Yet I haven’t sorted out everything inside myself. I feel I should apologize for what I didn’t do this past month. But I don’t know if I am sorry. Or that I won’t do it again.
2 responses so far ↓
1 Dennis R // Sep 4, 2004 at 9:09 pm
Live.
No apologies.
And thank you: passion is too often lost behind the routine. I’ve had more reminders of this lately, for which I am grateful.
The hard thing to remember is to leave the expectations of others to others, not make them your own. Something I have a hard time with, and something I am working on.
2 Julie // Sep 5, 2004 at 1:38 am
Thank you, Dennis R., for your encouragement! What you write is true.