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How I know something must be wrong with me

November 11th, 2004 · 1 Comment


Since we came home from our trip to LA I haven’t felt like myself. I thought perhaps it was stress. Or sleep-deprivation. But the night before I left for BloggerCon, I realized that I had a bad cold stuck in my sinuses. I even debated whether I should go to the conference. For days my head has hurt. When I’m ill, I don’t take anything and simply suffer through it all, miserable me. Last weekend though I became a pill-popper, a drug addict who carefully watched the clock and her supply of Tylenol Sinus, calculating and strategizing, counting the minutes until that next dose of green gel was due.

Usually I enjoy taking my camera and capturing my adventures in pictures. It’s fun to post the images here. But I didn’t feel like taking photos. My battery did run out early, due to a dial that was accidentally turned during my travel. Somehow though I wasn’t that motivated to take pictures at the conference. Or for days on either side. And I knew something must be a bit wrong with me.

After coming home from BloggerCon, my sinus headache worsened for a couple days. I also needed to spend time with my family. It’s felt intense. I’ve wanted to blog but I’ve been exhausted emotionallly and physically.

I’m beginning to breathe again. In many ways. Yesterday I went outside with the girls. I didn’t bother to take the camera with me. But then Elisabeth began playing with a pumpkin and soon I rushed inside the house to try to capture her cuteness.

At BloggerCon, someone asked me what was growing in my garden. So I thought I’d take a picture of my ever-prolific dahlia, still blooming in mid-November. Susan, this one is for you too!

There’s something about a picture of a bright yellow flower – and seeing the flower itself, growing in my garden – that provides a gift of sudden joy and makes all my inner misery melt away in the clear November air of a Northwest afternoon.

Tags: journal

1 response so far ↓

  • 1 enoch choi // Nov 11, 2004 at 8:20 pm

    oh no, being caught up in all of the BC III busyness, i didn’t ask you about this. i hope you feel better soon.

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