Scheherazade in two posts this week pondered risks not taken….
What do I consider failures thus far in my life? The answers that are most resonant involve boys. They’re not so much failures as much as missed opportunities, risks not taken. I should have taken the year after law school to go off sailing in the Bahamas with the surfer. I should have followed the scientist, my first love, to the West Coast after college, to see if that could have worked. I should have realized, before it was too late, that the really handsome one was, in fact, smart enough.
I think the biggest thing I’ve learned about friendships is to say what you want to say. Ask the question that you want to know the answer to, even if it’s scary or embarrassing. I learned that the hard way, when a dear friend was raped. …[...]…People want to be known. And if you’re trying, with love and sincerity, to know them, it’s hard to screw things up, even if the words aren’t happy or easy.
Today the kids and I watched an x-treme sports video on a television display. Those who sky-dive or parasail or drive all-terrain vehicles over incredible obstacles are taking risks with their lives. But I believe there are many emotional risks that may be terrifying and dangerous but also as exhilarating and rewarding as diving off of a cliff into the ocean. I liked Scheherazade’s encouragement to seize the opportunities, ask the questions, say what you want to say, and with love and sincerity try to know the people in your life. People want to be known.