Michaela has always been an articulate child, constructing sentences – complete with conjuctions – at an early age. Words are her friends and she has lots of them.
So I am surprised when, from time to time, she shrieks instead of speaking. I’ll be in one room of the house, and from the hallway or even another floor I’ll hear Michaela cry. It is a loud primal cry, the kind that belongs to a baby, not to an articulate two-year-old.
“What’s wrong?” I’ll ask, once I’ve found her.
“I want you.” She’ll plead, running towards me, grabbing hold of my hand.
Michaela wants me. Michaela wants to be with me. She’ll stand on a stool in the kitchen when I cook, content to watch me mix and measure. She wants to climb up in my lap whenever it is empty. Sometimes she just wants to sit next to me, looking at a book beside me, or she likes to help fold the laundry along with me. “I want you.”
What a wonder it is to be so wanted! How precious it resonates in my heart. But I confess, sadly, that I am so “to-do” oriented, I often overlook and ignore her desire to be with me: it gets in the way of “getting things done”.
This morning, while working on the deck, I was thinking about how much I want to get the deck “done” – so much so that I am rising with the sun, spending every daylight hour possible outside working on the wood. I thought also about how I pride myself on being utilitarian, spending my days doing practical things, whatever needs to get done, trading time for tasks accomplished. This is efficiency. This is responsibility. This is good and this is what God wants.
But is God utilitarian? Is He as utilitarian as I am? How could He be, if He uses us, if we people are part of His plan? If God only wanted to “get things done” in the world, He could have them done with one word from His mouth or with one touch of His fingertips. In comparison to His pure power, people seem pretty impractical.
No, God wants us. The Divine Power of the Universe delights in us and desires us. “Getting things done” is not His chief goal. He enjoys us and wants us to enjoy Him. Somehow – in His perfect wisdom, compassion and love – He has chosen people as part of His plan. It doesn’t make sense to me, but Love defies logic. And He wants us to be like children, like my own Michaela, happy to be beside Him, working where He is working, companion and friend.
“I want you.” I cry and call. And I run towards Love…
2 responses so far ↓
1 Katherine // Jul 29, 2003 at 10:52 am
What a challenge to my everyday thinking. But it all makes sense. He’s not so interested in the result as in the process, the journey, the learning, the growth. Thank you for this profound reminder.
2 Ted Leung on the air // Aug 1, 2003 at 12:41 am
Another blogger in the house
A few months ago, Julie, my wife started asking me about getting her own blog. I thought this was a cool idea, but I didn’t think that pyblosxom was a great fit for her. My setup is basically cobbled together because I’m hacking on pyblosxom and blog