JulieLeung.com: a life told in tidepools

I’m reluctant to admit I’m a fan of figure skating. We’re fans all right, fans as a family. It can’t be denied, only proved by our lifestyle. For example, although we’ve never owned a TV, we borrowed one from my boss in 1992 and 1994 so we could see skating in the Olympics. (now we use my TV.PVR on the Mac.) And this year, we cleared the calendar on Saturday January 14 so we could watch the US Figure Skating Championships from St. Louis (on ABC from 1 to 4 pm and 8 to 11 pm Pacific Time).

Yes, I’m reluctant. I’m first afraid that someone might question me and discover that I can’t diagnose the difference between a lutz and a loop. But more than that, I’m embarrassed to say I like to watch skating, a sport plagued by poor reputation.

Skating needs an image consultant

On the list of sports that have PR problems, skating would be near the top. Which images come to mind? Judging scandals ala the 2002 Olympics Skategate (note: pair Sale & Pelletier married on December 30th) and bizarre debacles such as 1994’s Tonya-Nancy drama (Google: “Tonya Nancy“) overshadow the ways these competitive athletes combine physics and physiology as well as musicality and empathy to create beauty and sport. Despite its focus on fashion, skating needs an image consultant.

Turn on the TV this time of year and you might see old Olympians skating to Kenny Rogers, a strange flashback and bittersweet reminder of the disappeared decade in which both performers hit their peak. I can understand Lauren’s reaction (and laughed when I saw her post). While Ilia Kulik skated to “Lady” I only shook my head and tried not to laugh at the dated piece.

Go to one of the skating shows advertising various Champions or Stars on Ice and you can see these athletes awkwardly trying to preserve their pride while earning a living as professionals. At the 2002 show, Viktor Petrenko went around the ice with a dog puppet on his hand, barking in time to the music of “Who Let the Dogs Out”. While it was intriguing to see how wearing a puppet affected his skating moves, I suspected that this experiment distracted from the entertainment aspect. I felt sorry for this skater who had once been the best in the world, now reduced to dancing with a dog puppet.

Darren Barefoot pointed to another skating show, this one on TV, Skating with Celebrities. I confess I am curious to see how well these pairs can do. Not only must the celebrities, including Debbie Gibson, Bruce Jenner and Todd Bridges, master skating, but the pairs have to work together. Challenging. But I also suspect the timing of this show this winter has to do with channeling the Olympic hype and the ever-high ratings for scanal-plagued skating.

This year’s controversy at U.S. Nationals



Yes it’s time for another Olympics and time for more skating stories. Which debacle will it be this year? I wonder. Already Michelle Kwan has made headlines by pulling out of the US Nationals due to an injury and petitioning for a place on the Olympic team. I was upset to see the news. Although Michelle has a record number of national titles, five world titles, and an impressive resume, she may not be prepared to compete internationally this year, especially under the new detailed scoring system. In the only skating show we were able to catch on network TV this winter (and one of the few Michelle skated), the judges did not treat her generously, telling her she needed to improve. So now a decision must be made on Saturday without Michelle’s skating.

Here’s an editorial from the San Francisco Chronicle: Kwan doesn’t deserve berth. Via Technorati, I found this comparison of arguments for and against Kwan as well as a history of petitions. The Miami Herald argued Choose Kwan; what does U.S. have to lose?

NBC’s Olympic skating site already has a number of videos and articles regarding this weekend’s nationals and the 2002 and 2006 Olympics including one piece on the depth of the Japanese women’s team and another opinion on Kwan.

But I’m not a big fan of Michelle. I admire the way she is able to pull out a victory in any situation, her endurance, perseverance and ability to focus. She’s tough and I wish I had her determination. I’m not a fan of Sasha Cohen either. The woman is built like a rubber band and can do Biellmanns and spirals beyond imagination. She’s also skating the most sophisticated programs of any of the Americans. Although she is now expected to win nationals easily, it will be interesting to see if she has solved her mental blocks that have hindered her in previous years. Often she has lost her focus, made mistakes but then also blamed her failures on the ice or other factors, rather than herself. But perhaps she is growing and learning.

Exciting skating

I realized that I have a favorite. Thursday night, I was suddenly excited, continually refreshing my browser page as results were posted, to see Emily Hughes in second place after the short program. My husband Ted, the true skating fan in the family, enjoyed watching Emily’s sister skate to her gold medal in 2000. The pressure of having Sarah Hughes as her older sibling and the constant comparison must be immense. The one time I saw her skate this fall, I didn’t think the Gloria Estefan number fit her style well. But Emily is doing well and somehow something in me wants to see her succeed this week. I hope that she shares some of Sarah’s refreshing humility and simplicity.

I’m also hoping we’ll get glimpses on TV tomorrow of the pairs and ice dancing competition which finished Friday. American pairs have not done well in recent years, however the news that Inoue and Baldwin won the national championship with a triple-axel throw gets me excited to see this move that no other pair in the world can do. Ice dancing has been invigorated by the young couple of Tanith Belbin and Ben Agosto. Congress passed legislation at the end of 2005 that allowed Canadian Belbin and others like her to become citizens and thereby compete in the Olympics for the United Sates. These two have great style and a sense of humor, known for their “Green Acres” and “Elvis” costumes. It was no surprise that Belbin and Agosto won nationals, and it will be fun to see how they can do in Turin.

Tomorrow we’ll have three hours of TV time focussing on the men, but I’m not that excited to watch them. So far Johnny Weir and Michael Weiss are leading after the short program, but if we send them to Turin, I don’t think they will bring home medals. Then again I don’t know which men could compete against the field. I’m curious to see whether knee surgeries and marriage have impacted Evgeni Plushenko’s skating (he met his wife by pursuing her when he saw her in a convertible – she had no idea who he was). Brian Joubert who seemed to be Plushenko’s heir apparent a couple seasons ago could be one to watch. So is Stephane Lambiel, world champion.

I like the Canadian men’s team better. I liked Elvis Stojko, and Emmanuel Sandhu has some of his eccentricity, performing unusual routines. Jeffrey Buttle however has more consistency and a style we enjoy.

As Darren indicated, his wife will be busy this Saturday watching both Canadian and American national championships. I wish we could watch the Canadian championships too. I’m particularly curious to see how Mira Leung performs. She’s from Vancouver and shares our last name, so how could she be bad?

The problem with fanatic fans

Yes, skating fans are a bit strange and simplistic in their preferences. Also under-educated. I’m reluctant to confirm that reputation with my own admission of ignorance. But it shocked me to see the fans reaction in the 2005 Marshall’s Challenge televised last month. At this event, fans voted to determine which two skaters would advance to the finals, and then again to determine the winner. I could not believe that Michael Weiss was voted as one of the top two skaters. He performed to a medley of old George Michael, throwing in one of his gymnastic moves and utilizing his exhibition skates with the extra blade in the back. But to me it was clear he was not the second best skater. I wondered whether it was the pop music appeal or his acrobatics or charisma (of sorts) that tempted the audience.

Skating is expensive. I don’t know how many families afford it. Yet I suppose it is good that former Olympic athletes can continue to earn a living through skating shows and tours.

Where do good athletes go?

What happens to athletes? This week, in preparation for the Seahawks playoff game, the Seattle Times published a list describing what had happened to most of the All Time Seahawks greats: Where are they now?. I’m intrigued to discover what athletes decide to do with their lives. After making such intense investments, it must be difficult at least for some to find what happens next and to find a different identity.

While watching a couple televised skating shows over New Year’s, I realized that Nancy Kerrigan is the only American woman medalist still participating in these events. Her appearance in both programs caused me to consider what has happened to all the other women. Sarah Hughes, 2002 gold medalist, has returned to normal collegiate life at Yale. Neither Tara Lipinski nor Oksana Baiul, 1998 and 1994, respectively, have developed an intense professional career. Kristi Yamaguchi, 1992, had her second child this winter.

Teaching our children to skate

Even though I’d rather see competitions, Kristi’s show this year was worth watching. The theme was family, and all the skaters in the show were parents. Apparently it was one of the first times some of these children had seen their parents skate. Of course, this may be because the kids are all relatively young, many toddlers and babies.

The highlight to me was seeing Gordeeva and Grinkov’s daughter dance with her mother. Ekaterina Gordeeva and Sergei Grinkov (see story here) received gold medals for pairs in the 1988 and 1994 Olympics, taking time off in 1992 to have Daria. After Sergei died suddenly, Ekaterina has continued to skate in professional shows. Something about seeing Daria and Ekaterina skate brought tears to my eyes.

We take our own daugthers to the rink. While Ted had time off from work, we made our annual pilgrimage to the Bremerton Ice Arena (where I took the photo above). Despite the distance from the island, it was the place to be – we saw three other families we knew, including another blogger.

Slowly but surely the girls are learning how to skate. Already Abigail wants to go around the rink by herself, and this time Michaela joined her. So Ted only had to take Elisabeth. With three small kids who couldn’t skate, it seemed best if I watched them on the side while Ted took turns teaching each one. However, if our girls can skate on their own, then I too can continue my own progress as a skater. Next time we return to the rink I’ll bring my skates which have been sitting in a box for years. I’ll lace up my boots tight, loosen my pride, and make my own Ice Follies show.

2005 was certainly the year for blogs and online news on Bainbridge Island as information and communication grew in quantity and quality.

Cathy Nickum launched Bainbridge Buzz and with co-publisher Althea Paulson and other staff she has invigorated and investigated our community. When then-City of Bainbridge code enforcement officer Will Peddy ran for mayor, the Buzz discovered discrepancies between his alleged resume and actual life experience, when calling former employers and educators to confirm details of his record. The work of the Buzz – and an email from Peddy to City staff in response to it – led to investigation and eventual termination from the City. The Buzz then took legal action to ask for the release of records from the City, believing that it was in the best interest of the public to know why Peddy had been terminated. In the process of communication between City and Peddy attorneys in response to the Buzz’s action, it was revealed that the former City employee has a “double identity” including information that he claims would endanger his family if made public. We citizens are able to know more details about the case thanks to this legal action taken by the Buzz which resulted this week in a release of City records. Some of the information in the City’s records was redacted, perhaps due to this double identity of Peddy. Please see these articles on the Buzz: Buzz disclosure request goes to court on Friday and City documents show history of Peddy deception.

Thanks to the Buzz for all their work fortifying our online community.

And thanks to everyone who has begun writing and reading blogs in the past year on our island. I’ve been amazed by the connections and community that has grown along with the higher profile and production.

Here are local reads new to me that I am enjoying:

Bainbridge Runner started by John W. of the Bainbridge Runners group, with details and pictures of local races.

Mary Hager’s {through the daze} features excellent photography, including cute newborn puppies.

Bainbridge Island-based Clear Path International has a blog describing its work with landmine problems around the world.

Bill McCoy began blogging from Bainbridge at the end of the year.

And the provocatively-titled Clearcut Bainbridge written by Eleua intends to deflate the stuffy, provincial, self-congratulatory mystique that permeates Bainbridge Island.

The fun serial blog story Peggy Finds a Friend has posted its final chapter. I’ll miss reading Peggy’s adventures on the island and I’m grateful to Bill Branley for sharing the story with us, to the point of asking readers to write the end of the tale.

And I received an email from Jim W. Coleman of Kitsap County, letting me know about his Horror from the ‘Left Coast’ and The Coleman Photoblog

Our daughters now “play conference”. Sure, sometimes they “play house”, with the traditional roles of Mommy, Daddy and Baby. But often I’ve caught them taking turns giving pretend presentations and passing the “microphone” between them. I suppose it’s a sign of our family adventures in the past year, an indication of our vacations and the places our kids have been, from Northern Voice to Gnomedex to Mind Camp. “Now I’m going to be giving a talk on…” one of them will start, speaking into her fist that functions as a microphone for the moment. The other two listen, smile and giggle from the audience, sitting in the auditorium of our living room floor.

They’ve even come up with a name for their conference: AbiMiEl, borrowing from the first letters of each of their names. I wonder whether Abigail, Michaela and Elisabeth will invite Ted and me to talk. Or rather, I think the two of us should show up and listen.

Last year we had a great time at the first Northern Voice, and I have high expectations for the second! Vancouver B.C., specifically UBC Robson, is where you want to be on Saturday February 11th. And if you liked – or missed – Seattle Mind Camp – give Moose Camp a try on Friday February 10th. See the schedule for Northern Voice Saturday or the Moose Camp grid.

Why Northern Voice? It’s relaxed yet intense, serious and fun, local yet international. Last year, I experienced rich discussions that challenged and changed my own ideas, and I also enjoyed meeting many bloggers for the first time. Northern Voice has less of an emphasis on the technology and more focus on the social and cultural aspects of blogging. Of the conferences I’ve attended in the past two years, it had one of the highest rates of family participation and one of the most diverse group of attendees in age and gender. I was amazed and impressed to notice how many bloggers brought their parents with them. Everyone was friendly with our kids. This year the conference organizers continued that welcome to families with a room just for kids – thanks! It’s great to go across the border, get a taste of life in Vancouver and become drawn into the wonderful community of bloggers only a few hours north of us here in Seattle. I met faces behind the blogs and saw the smiles there too.

Of course, I’m partial to Northern Voice because of the wonderful opportunity the organizers gave me to present Making Masks last year. After I submitted a proposal this past November, I was chosen again to speak at NV 2006. This time, I’ve been given the first slot, opening the day, so I need to wake everyone up and keep them awake at 9 am on a Saturday morning. I’m grateful and honored to be starting the conference with my talk titled Starting with Fire: Why Stories Are Essential and How to Blog Effective Tales.

For the past month, I’ve been immersed in the process of creating this presentation. Already I have a reputation among our local librarians and a stack of books towering over my laptop on my desk. Peek at my delicious tag :storytelling to see the posts and sites I am accumulating in my research. To use Tim Bray’s analogy from last year’s keynote (see Nancy White’s excellent notes), I’m combining bits of neuroscience and psychology, culture and history as well as some personal stories and observations into this stew of storytelling presentation. My talk will have some flavors of Creating Passionate Users (thanks Kathy for the link!) (I’ve borrowed some books from Kathy Sierra’s reading list) and of course flavors of Making Masks.

Also at Northern Voice 2006, Ted and I will make our first joint appearance at a conference, speaking on the panel Bloggers in the Bedroom: Blogging and Relationships along with Maryam Scoble, Chris Pirillo, Ponzi Indharasophang, and Jennifer Wiederick. Between the topic and the participants, this session promises to be fun and fiery! If you haven’t read Maryam’s blog (such as her Ten Reasons Why You Should Date a Geek) or checked out Ponzi and Pirillo on video, I’d say you’re missing out on great couple blogging. I’m enjoying reading Jen’s blog too. I started blogging because my husband was blogging so I’ve always been intrigued by the ways blogging can impact our intimate relationships. With this group I hope we can explore some of the new territory of identity and relating through blogs.

Besides the two sessions I’ve described, the schedule contains many more opportunities for discussing, learning and connecting. For example, I don’t know how I’ll choose between Nancy White or Susannah Gardner’s presentations. As Nancy pointed out in her post, another reason to go to Northern Voice is the great representation of women. True, some panels are all male, but women also fill many slots. Northern Voice seems very welcoming and accepting.

Take a look at who’s coming and what’s happening and then please go sign up! Darren Barefoot posted yesterday:The pace of registration has picked up, and is exceeding last year. I hope to see you on February 11th at Northern Voice!

The end of 2005 was a rich time of reflection for me. During the weeks in November while I was preparing my proposals for Northern Voice 2006, I read reviews from my “Making Masks” presentation at Seattle Mind Camp, as well as a post from Darren Barefoot commenting on presentation styles (and kindly referring to me). Then in early December, the video of the “Masks” version I gave at Gnomedex 5.0 became available. The past two months have been an intriguing time of considering what I’ve learned since Northern Voice 2005, when my adventures with “Making Masks” began.

When I first created “Making Masks” a year ago for Northern Voice 2005, I simply did what felt natural to me. A visual writer, I see life in images, and pictures from my own photo library seemed perfect illustrations of my stories and experiences. It never occurred to me to make slides with words. Then again, at that point in time, I could probably count the number of presentations I’d seen – and given myself – on one hand. Neither the jobs I had after graduation nor the course of study I chose in college required formal verbal reports or conference attendance. I had no idea I was doing something different, from others until I started giving the talk and hearing reactions.

As I’ve given this talk I’ve grown. I’ve grown more comfortable with the presentation, but also less comfortable with it. “Making Masks”, which I last edited in June for Gnomedex, no longer reflects exactly who I am and what I’ve learned. I’m not the same person I was when I wrote it. It’s a surreal experience to present a talk on public identity while at the same time change that identity. The more attention I’ve received, the more protective I’ve felt about my family and the less I’ve shared online from my children’s lives. Other’s opinions have also impacted mine, as I’ve discussed these ideas at multiple conferences.

Performing a personal piece has also changed my perspective on my own life. For example, after Northern Voice, one blogger commented that it seemed I was nearly in tears: that observation was true. At first it was difficult for me to mention my brother’s death and other personal issues I had written into the talk, but now as I discuss his ashes I feel more distant. Of course, part of this may be the natural healing process, as more time has passed since December when we released his ashes into the ocean. However, I wonder how discussing his death publicly has affected me.

If I could, I think I would have rewritten the talk to better reflect where I am now. Yet at the same time, I heard that people want to see what others have seen. So I left it alone after Gnomedex.

During high school, I read a magazine interview with singer Amy Grant, published at the time she chose to transition from gospel/Christian music to the top-40 pop chart (circa 1986 or so?). Although I can’t remember her exact words, I remember her frustration at the public’s resistance to her new direction. In the interview, Amy Grant said that people wanted her to be someone she wasn’t. No one seemed to understand that she as an artist and person had changed. She couldn’t go back and produce that same kind of music that she had in the past despite the demands of her audience and their dissatisfaction with her.

Darren described my presentation as theatrical. Bryan said I was reading an essay. Tim Bray praised my prose poem. Some presentations are technical. But “Making Masks” felt more like performance art to me. At one point I hired an acting coach to help me refine and improve my piece.

This past year has been my first experience in the spotlight. Or almost my first. I took drama in high school and had a small part in a play. Yet that was years ago. Spending a weekend walking onto a stage as part of an ensemble cast reciting lines from a script someone else wrote feels different from doing an autobiographical solo at a few venues for part of a year.

Having this brief and small experience with my own presentation has helped me wonder about artists who spend years touring and performing pieces from their own lives. What is it like for musicians who play songs from their past every night? Does it feel for them the way “Making Masks” now feels for me, like familiar clothes that don’t quite fit any more? Or do they become accustomed to this aspect of their profession, and learn to reminisce or remember that time of their lives as a separate self, someone who once existed but now has changed in time? How do performance artists balance who they are in the present with who they were in the past, when it all is performed in pieces in public (and often for pay)?

I feel self-conscious writing this post yet I also want to share where I am and what I’ve learned. I’m grateful for all the opportunities I’ve had this year, and all the enthusiasm for “Making Masks”. It’s been a year of gifts and surprises. Certainly I never imagined I would receive such a response to my presentation. It’s been an amazing time, one I’ll always remember. I’ve loved every minute of presenting and every discussion and comment people have given me. I’ve made new friends. I’ve seen new sides of myself and new aspects to the issues in my presentation. My eyes have been opened and my life is fuller.

At the same time, “Making Masks” now feels like a suit of clothing that no longer fits. On the one hand, I like to perform the presentation, It feels familiar. I enjoyed the invitations, and I especially enjoyed the discussions that followed. However, I feel restless with it. The person who wrote the talk is not the person I am now. I’m ready to write something new. To start a new page. To find a new role on the stage.

Thanks to everyone for encouraging me and responding to my posts and presentations. The next chapter, or at least the next page, begins here…more details to come…