JulieLeung.com: a life told in tidepools

I’ve recently heard this song by Chris Rice on the radio (hear it on his MySpace page) and its buoyant happiness and story details carry the jazzy tune. Even the DJ assumed Chris must have a wonderful woman in his life and I did too, until I read this article. Regardless, I think of Ted when I think of this song, and although I don’t usually post song lyrics, I will do it today, in honor of our love, the silliness, joy and fun God has given us in it.

I love you Ted. When did you fall in love with me? I can’t remember. 😉

Chris Rice – When Did You Fall lyrics

From the album Amusing

You’re all smiles and silly conversation

As if this sunny day came just for you

You twist your hair, you smile and you turn your eyes away

C’mon, tell me what’s right with you

Now it dawns on me probably everybody’s talkin’

And there’s something here I’m supposed to realize

‘Cause your secret’s out, and the universe laughs at it’s joke on me

I just caught it in your eyes, it’s a beautiful surprise

Have you been waiting long, when did you fall in love

I kept you waiting so long, when did you fall

Have you been waiting long

When did you fall in love with me

When did you fall in love?

Today (January 25) is our 14th wedding anniversary. We’ve now been married longer than my parents were. Perhaps it seems strange to mention this as significant, in the second sentence, a sad and somber thought on a day of celebration. But I can’t deny that I entered into marriage with some doubt due to divorce, and wondering what it would take to make it to 14. Sorrows leave their shadows. Yet you can’t compare apples to oranges: my parents’ relationship came with its own set of situations distinct from ours. Although Ted and I have had crises, my mom and dad encountered incredible stress, including the Vietnam draft, the intense demands of his career, and my brother’s cancer. They had four kids while we have only three, and each day my respect and understanding for my parents increases. Life isn’t easy. Commitment is no cakewalk. I know we’ve had our moments in our marriage, times when at least I thought I was ready to leave, ready to walk out the door and repeat the pattern.

Yet I’m grateful for every promise I made while wearing a white dress one wintry morning in Massachusetts, promises to love, honor and cherish the tuxedo-clad Ted. We’re certainly older and wiser now, and better for the years we’ve spent together. I wouldn’t take back one day of the approximately 5,114 we’ve had as husband and wife.

Guy Kawasaki in one of his recent top 10 lists titled Hindsights recommended 32 as a good age to get married. While I respect his wisdom I have to disagree with waiting so long for a wedding. Besides the fertility and parenting aspect (32 may be too old, for women like me who had problems getting pregnant, never mind the energy requirements of parenting!), there are many other reasons for starting life together sooner rather than later. Marrying young has its advantages. Our relationship has shaped us. I think I found more freedom and healing in our intimacy and commitment than I would have had in my independence. Ted and I have a history, one that spans nearly half my life. We’ve grown together and have a strong foundation for our family. We’ve shared many “firsts” and experiences, and learned how to live as a team. Again, you can’t compare apples to oranges, and each relationship and situation are different. I’m grateful though that Ted and I took the risk of marrying young. I’m grateful for the years we’ve been given.

Especially year #14. It was record-breaking in a number of ways. Record-breaking busyness, crazyness and traveling. Finding ourselves in a new phase of life as a family. But also I think each year we’ve reached a deeper level of understanding, partnership and love.

Thank you, Ted, for breaking every expectation I had with your lasting and forgiving love for me!

Harvard psychologist Steven Pinker listed three links for the video of his MITWorld lecture on Words and Rules: two pages at Harvard and the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists. Had I lingered longer in the lab, perhaps I too could have proposed myself for membership. However, I recently had my hair trimmed so I am not sure I would qualify now compared to those who could clothe themselves in their locks.

Time to go take a pair of scissors…to the draft outline of my presentation notes. Thanks to Steven Pinker for the laughs and looks at his ‘do. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in my love of the laboratory and long hair…

Little did I know: The public loves to see and applaud scientists who have luxuriant flowing hair.

Robert Scoble kindly invited us to attend the Naked Conversations Launch Party on January 21. Ted was in San Francisco this week and couldn’t make it. But after a week of parenting by myself, I was grateful for the opportunity to go out alone, pick up a copy of the book, and celebrate with friends. It was great to meet Scoble’s co-author Shel Israel whose writings on stories have come up in my recent research for my upcoming presentation.

Here are a couple pictures of Shel and Paula Israel with Robert and Maryam Scoble.

There was lots of laughter between the two authors and the two couples. As the spouse of an author, remembering the intensity and stress of the book-writing process, I saw all the smiling as a good sign!

Maryam Scoble had the line of the night (loosely quoted): “The book is titled Naked Conversations but Paula and I don’t appear anywhere in it!” I think she should write a book too – I can’t wait for that launch party!

Other highlights included:

Chris Pirillo and his glowing belly (due to sweatshirt pocket + gadget). (Ponzi, come home soon!)

Anita Rowland and Jack William Bell looked great – they have good news to celebrate!

Liz Lawley’s homeschooling adventures with her family.

Mitch Ratcliffe introduced me as a community theorist. I’m always collecting descriptions and will add that one to the mix…

Meeting Mitch’s wife, and finally meeting Jeff Sandquist’s wife.

Buzz Bruggeman, expert connector, responsible for helping to put Naked Conversations and the launch party together – and now a Seattle resident!

Talking in depth with Bryan and Jennifer Zug.

Introducing some of my friends to each other.

Nabila Lacey, wife of Gnomedex attendee Steve, and blog reader, came over to meet me – thank you! 🙂

Tasty crab cakes!

Big thanks to Nancy Folsom, who offered to pick me up and take me to the party, making my trip from the island much easier. As we were arriving, Beth Grigg was leaving. Maryam captured two pictures of the three of us on the front steps. See Robert’s flickr page for more photos. My flickr page has a few photos from the party too.

And thanks to Robert and Shel, and to Maryam and Paula, for all they’ve given and shared. May Naked Conversations be the beginning of many good things…!

This week the girls and I did ye old penny-cleaning-with-vinegar experiment. We tried a number of permutations including adding ketchup and/or salt to the solution with water as a control. The picture above is a penny Abigail held halfway in her mix of ketchup, vinegar and salt for ten seconds.

Ketchup seemed to help clean the pennies well, although salt was also necessary for the formation of the blue-green compound later seen on unrinsed coins left to dry on paper towels. The instructions for the experiment explained that the blue-green compound contained copper, oxygen and chloride.

The next step was to incubate nails in each solution, after the pennies were removed. I don’t remember trying this part before. Only the vinegar and salt solution had the clear result below of changing nails into a coppery color. Perhaps this transfer of copper ions also happened in the ketchup-containing solutions, but the additional acid or darker color of ketchup affected the ability to observe it. In the picture below see an untreated nail, a penny, and between the two, a nail from the vinegar and salt solution.