JulieLeung.com: a life told in tidepools

For the record, I’m posting our jack o’lantern pictures from our busy Halloween weekend. The kids chose the designs and I carved them:

Elisabeth’s

Michaela’s

Abigail’s

The girls dressed up as princesses.

My favorite trick-or-treater costume? A friend who came as Valerie Plame…Scary, indeed!

The communities of the blogosphere are infinite, so it seems, and recently I discovered a sector that was new to me: crime blogs. In September a Seattle Times article quoted The Dark Side, as a blog which contained quotes from the blog of a suspect in a local murder. Since then I’ve been reading Steven Huff’s posts. On the one hand, I’m concerned. His crime blog writing contains a free mix of opinion, feelings and fact. Speculation abounds. Of course, tech bloggers and political bloggers speculate as well. But somehow it feels different to me when someone is guessing what the next iPod will be or what Karl Rove will announce next, compared to assigning blame and diagnosing crimes on people who until recently were private citizens.

But what I find fascinating in these crime blogs, is the fact that many suspects and victims now have left footprints on the Web. Often Steven Huff will link to blogs written by people involved in the criminal case or at least quote the blogs, if he doesn’t want to link to them. For example, see this recent post on the double murder and abduction in Pennsylvania. Sometimes what the suspects have written amazes me. Sometimes it seems clues have been left behind in the blogs, explicit or subtle. It’s a wild idea that we leave behind these pieces of ourselves in our blogs, writings that may become evidence to prove or disprove innocence. What you think no one is reading may someday be read by the police and by millions through the media. What you post may be used against you.

As another proof of the power of posts, I’ll describe the case of a Seattle-area blogger who writes about politics but also posts pictures of his family. Someone decided to attack him, and in the process used a picture of his son, making fun of the family’s activities. I am intentionally not linking to the post, in case it would cause this blogger more pain. Although many enjoy posting pictures of their family, I think that parents must consider that what they post may be used against them. It may not be fair or right. Yet people who will attack you may also attack your children. By putting our children in our blogs, we are making them fair game for those who would wish to use us as targets. What you post may be used against you.

Just showing off my husband’s photography skills….

which picture should I use for my headshot (for SXSW)?

Please let me know. Thanks!

#1

or

#2

Catching up…

Participate in finishing Bill Branley’s blog story Peggy Finds a Friend.

Elisabeth Freeman started a new blog: Bainbridge Island in the Post-Oil Era

Lee and Sachi leave in a few weeks to begin their travel adventures – see The World is Not Flat (great pictures from Hawaii too!)

Via Garrett Fitzgerald, I appreciated this Ramble About Art and Failure describing professional musicianship. I meant to comment more, on music, failure, childhood and identity, but perhaps will have time in the future…

No, I’m not surprised that newspaper circulation is declining: Ted and I are responsible for one number in all those statistics. In the past year we’ve reduced our paper subscription from daily to Sunday (we’re barely reading Sunday as it is) and stopped using diapers completely – I hope we’re saving at least a tree or two.

Topozone – a fun way to explore topographic maps, USGS data.

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe movie trailers and clips, also related Educator’s materials and Meals of The Lion, the Witch and The Wardrobe

Congratulations to Patricia and William on their 7th anniversary…and I’m enjoying the book she recommended on finding more margin in our lives.

This Pile I’m Standing In, a new blog I’m reading and enjoying, with a story behind it that may wait until later…it’s written by a wife and mom and contains great truth and insights.

Mommybloggers!

Blogher 2006 dates and Advisory Board: yeah! Anyone up for a Seattle Blogher reunion?



Also lots of buzz for SXSW Interactive 2006, noting all the women who will be speakers and panelists (thanks, Hugh and BlogHer!)

Speaking of my SXSW Bloggers in Love panelists, I somehow missed Chris and Ponzi’s most recent podcast on Dirty Laundry and look forward to their new daily video podcast!

In The Relationship Chronicles: Pondering THE QUESTION, Jory Des Jardins described what happens to her and her boyfriend when they attend weddings.

Clearly all of them were quite different, though all of the ones b-friend and I were able to attend together were very similar for one reason–the Question. The question every unmarried couple who’s in their late 20s or 30s and been together at least a year hears at a wedding: So, when is YOUR day?

We no longer get embarrassed hearing this question, but we still haven’t figured out any decent answers.

Questions, questions. I remember going to weddings with Ted’s friends from college and getting asked THE QUESTION. Of course, the next question after marriage is When are you having children?

People mean well when they ask these questions. At least I think so. Perhaps they are curious. Perhaps they have their own questions and hope your answers will enlighten them as they make choices in their own lives. Perhaps they think they know you well enough to tread on tender territory. I try to extend grace to these inquisitors.

But if I learned anything from our time of infertility, it was that some questions should not be asked. Such as, when are you having kids? Or as someone said to me, incredulous (I paraphrase) why haven’t you had kids yet? Or the related one: when is your baby due, as poor Jen heard recently?

Even though I’ve gotten accustomed to awkward and rude questions, I was shocked to discover that people ask parents of Down Syndrome children whether or not they knew about their babies difference (see Patricia Bauer’s op-ed piece found via Sam Crane via 11D). What is the implication? Why ask such a question? To emphasize that the parents should have chosen to terminate the pregnancy instead? To imply that the child is less valuable? Questions about possible marriage or pregnancy plans, as uncomfortable as they are, can’t compare to the severity of this one.

One of my brothers was developmentally disabled. Years ago he was labelled “mentally retarded”. So I have an acute sensitivity to those who are different. I treasured Patricia Bauer’s piece. And Sam Crane’s post, written as the parent of a disabled child.

The question, then, is: how do we expand society’s vision and understanding of disability, how do we undermine the tragedy narrative and replace it with a common humanity narrative that encourages a wider social acceptance of and (this is crucial) support for disabled people? It is not so much a problem of absolutely forbidding abortion of disabled fetuses, as it is creating a society in which disability is so warmly accepted and sustained that parents would see any child, disabled or not, as a loving, and loved, member of the family.

My brother died a few years ago after suffering from his third brain tumor. His first tumor, and its effects, gave him his disabilities. He had a hard life. I remember after the fittings for the tuxedos for our wedding, he asked my mom when he would get married. Hard questions he asked of life.

Yet I miss him. He made all our lives different. But we are better people because he was alive. My college professor didn’t believe me when I said I had never thought of the possibility that my brother could have been aborted. His life, although different, was incredibly precious, perhaps even more valuable, because he barely survived his first tumor. I can’t imagine what my life would have been like without my disabled brother. He shaped all of us. I wish he was still here to be with my children. I’m grateful he was here. If you ask me a question, ask me why I miss him.