JulieLeung.com: a life told in tidepools

an Abigail tulip, that is. I didn’t know about Abigail tulips until we saw them at the store last fall. Now we need to find Michaela and Elisabeth ones so each of the girls can grow her eponymous plant.

When Bainbridge Beat recently asked islanders which choices define them, starting with the two local grocery stores in the post T&C or Safeway? a number of passionate responses followed in the comments. T&C is Town and Country, a grocery store located close to the ferry terminal downtown. Last time I heard, the store was owned by two island families, one of whom suffered during the WWII evacuation and internment of residents of Japanese descent (please correct me if I am wrong). T&C, from my perspective, has a larger range of organic and local goods and better quality fresh produce and meat, but the prices are higher. Safeway is an international chain based in California which offers better deals on some products; however the principle you get what you pay for applies. Here’s an example: if I am looking for salmon, I could buy it at Safeway, where it is usually farm-raised and injected with color, but less than $10 or I could buy it at T&C where it is wild but more than $10 a pound. Bananas are green but cheap at Safeway, edible but higher priced at T&C.

I don’t like to think of myself as defined by choices, although marketers believe identity comes from purchases. I don’t live by labels or think of myself as a _____shopper. Being thrifty, wise and efficient matters more to me as a definition of myself then what is written on the bag I bring home from the store.

When possible I do try to shop on the island and I try to frequent locally-owned stores. I like having the possibility here and I want to encourage island merchants. But sometimes the prices are too high, especially for larger items or occasional purchases, options are limited, and I feel justified shopping elsewhere. Sears is a better place to buy washing machines than Schmidt’s, for example.

T&C gives the girls stickers and has a friendlier feel, as a local store, yet it is a practical decision. If I need to go shopping during dance lessons, which is often convenient, I go to Safeway. If I want to combine groceries with other stops downtown, I go to T&C. Central Market in Poulsbo is my favorite one, but that requires an extra 20 minute drive each way I can’t often afford.

For a family of five living on one income, economics counts. Then again I am trying to purchase less processed food and more raw items raised in an organic way, so I do buy meat and vegetables at T&C. Eggs I’ll try to buy at T&C because the price is great and the chickens are treated well. Canned tomatoes I’ll get at Safeway, generic brand. Lunchmeat is a better deal at Safeway. Right now T&C has great prices on organic apples, an item we eat every day, so I’ve been stocking our fridge.

Of course, grocery store shopping is one of many choices I make every day. I often wonder about those choices, the implications and lasting effects of decisions I make, sometimes at the end of a busy day while our stomachs are rumbling and the clock is ticking. How many people am I impacting with my scribbled list, loaded cart and credit card? For example, I buy recycled paper products when possible even though they tend to be less attractive than other ones. I hope though that the higher price I am paying translates into savings for others, not just my family. At the same time, I do need to consider saving for my family; we have limited resources and a penny saved is a penny saved. Does it make a difference what I pick, one shopper out of millions in America? If I forget my canvas bags, does it matter if we take paper ones or plastic home? What is more important, saving money for my family or trying to save materials for our community? Or saving time, which is my most precious commodity?

When possible I try to buy consignment or organic. I try to recycle and do what is natural. It’s not a perfect world and there aren’t easy answers. I try to make the best decision I can.

Photo above: purple artichokes that caught my eye at T & C.

Thanks to Bainbridge Beat for the great posts!

Beth Freeman, a once and future Bainbridge Islander, commented on this blog in the past week and directed my attention to the blog where she is a co-author: Creating Passionate Users.

In the post Fine-grained treats = user happiness, Kathy Sierra quoted Iris Murdoch and a study in Scientific American Mind to make the point:

I believe this is an important principle for relationships, especially marriage and parenting.

Wednesday afternoon at a local bakery, I bought three big flower cookies sprinkled with sparkling pink sugar. I gave them to the girls Thursday at a park, removing the treats from their white bag disguise.

Abigail asked me “Why did you buy us cookies?”
“No reason,” I smiled.

I don’t usually buy the kids cookies, especially big bakery ones with pink sprinkles. And I don’t usually give them edible treats. On hot summer days, I might give them a frozen Tofutti sandwich or frozen yogurt cone. But more often I try to surprise them with a sticker or a trip to a fun destination or a little toy. I wish I did it more often. Seeing the happiness on their faces when my girls get a little gift brings a smile to my face too and builds the path of our relationship further.

In our family, we celebrate birthdays and holidays casually, toning down the intensity. Instead, we enjoy giving and receiving in many ways throughout the year. For example, although I don’t expect brunch or breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day, I know I receive many gifts from my family in many ways every day.

Dave Pollard’s Whisper Campaign also fits into this principle of surprises.

So I have a proposal. I want to start a Whisper Campaign. Sometime in the next 30 days, identify someone you genuinely admire, and when the opportunity presents itself, whisper, or say in a low voice, when no one else is paying attention: You’re amazing. And then just smile, pat them on the shoulder or shake their hand, and walk away.

I almost wrote small surprises in the sentence above, but it’s not small. A sudden compliment, a whispered praise, an encouraging word can be huge. Hearing what someone else sees in us changes our perception of ourselves and gives us strength and reserve to go forward up a rocky hill. I say this as someone who has benefitted from these verbal bouquets, as a student, daughter, wife and mom.

My kids practice these principles naturally. They will spontaneously look at me and say “I love you Mom.” Colorful construction paper presents cover my desk and dresser. The other day one of them gave me a card that said surprise and I’m happy because you’re my mom. Here again is another area of life where I could afford to learn from my children.

Big presents are nice. Holidays can help happiness. But I believe it is the little things, the cookies and kisses, the compliments and construction paper cards that build love, sprinkled along the journey, sweetening our joy like a big pink cookie.

Ich mag Mohnkuchen!

I was happy to discover Roland Tanglao with Boris Mann auf Deutsch, speaking on the delights of poppy seed cakes and other German treats available in Vancouver.

Note to Ted Wenn wir wieder nach Canada gehen, mussen wir Mohnkuchen kaufen!

On my first trip to Germany at age 15 I enjoyed the poppy seed treats. Later, I asked a former exchange student who had become a pen pal to send me a recipe but I somehow misplaced her letter with its metric instructions (I didn’t know how to convert them at the time). Thanks for the reminder Roland and Boris: ich muss ein Rezept finden! I must also subscribe to Dogma Radio’s feed so I won’t miss any further podcast installments in Deutsch for Andreas. Ja wohl!

Coincidentally, the girls and I have made an mp3 in German on the topic of food. We weren’t discussing lieblings dishes but instead singing a song from a book we’re using for our studies. The girls became addicted to this silly tune about peas and pears, asking to sing it every time I took out the book, so I decided one day to try to record it. I don’t yet know how to podcast so we did the next best thing and made an mp3 on their blog.

As is obvious from the recording, our German skills need some help, but I think at least we are learning. The girls are learning simple phrases such as was ist das?, was ist los? and ich mag____. From our time together at Northern Voice, we knew Roland and Boris spoke German but I didn’t know they would make a podcast together to help others learn! Now we have a new homeschool resource: I let the girls listen to Roland and Boris speak German.

Why should my children learn German? Heritage aside, in this small interlinked world, someone might write a blog post about them auf Deutsch. I may be biased but I agree that my girls are die wirklich coolen Kids: danke!

Side note: through the technorati feed for “bainbridge island” I learned that we had some German guests on the island this weekend.

In the talk I am preparing for Gnomedex, I discuss the limits my husband and I have placed on our blogging of our family life. While I may post pictures of my kids, I do not publish pictures of their faces. However, these images of my daughters peering through a playground bridge (at Island Lake Park) were too cute to keep to myself…