JulieLeung.com: a life told in tidepools

During the past two nights I have been preparing the talk I will present at Northern Voice two weeks from today on February 19. After researching, reading through my delicious bookmarks file of posts and examining other notes, I wrote a summary and titled my talk Making Masks: Blogging as a Social Tool and Family Lifestyle. Here are a few questions I hope to describe and discuss: Who are we when we blog? How do we decide which pieces of ourselves to put into our posts? Which masks do we wear at home, at work and in our blogs?

Who are we when we blog? is one question I had to answer when writing my talk and Who am I? is a question I had to answer when writing my bio for the conference site. It took me longer to describe who I am than to describe what I want to say. I’m not used to writing in third person about myself, listing achievements in a self-promotional sense; it seemed so different, almost antithetical to a blogging tone/attitude, but I decided to try it. Plus I realized I leapt off the career ladder nearly seven years ago. It’s been a while since I’ve had to define who I am professionally. My experience also follows a divergent path, pursuing various interests. I decided to write my bio highlighting my blogging experience while referring to my past and present for context. Who am I?

I find this question of identity in blogging, including which masks we wear, what we choose to reveal, who we are in our blogs, fascinating, and I plan to share how it has affected our family. I hope that a playful and provocative talk will lead into an intense and intimate discussion at Northern Voice.

See you there!

Read the Cliff Notes.

In other words: I was disappointed by this book. After reading Liz Lawley’s piece social consequences of social tagging (including this quote On the other hand, I don’t share the optimism that so many of my colleagues in this field seem to have that the collective “wisdom of crowds” will always yield accurate and useful descriptors.) I was eager to discover James Surowiecki’s thesis and to know why the many are smarter than the few as the subtitle of his tome The Wisdom of the Crowds claimed.

His theme was a simple one. Here’s my summary: Crowds are wise when people are independent thinkers, people have diverse perspectives, and when everyone can participate in the decision process. Of course, these groups will make wise choices. But as I walk through downtown on a given day and try to negotiate the parking lot or see a group of teen guys jeer one of their own, I don’t agree that the many are smart. I confess I read the book quickly, even skimming some of the end section. But Surowiecki’s book seemed to be an attempt to prove his hypothesis true in a variety of different situations. It felt a bit to me like bending. It was a confusing read for me.

I liked the chapter on science, examining how collaboration has been established and beneficial. I did appreciate his pointing out that CEOs are worshipped because we believe experts have answers. It was also interesting to see how having one dissenting voice in a group would change how others reacted. We impact each other because we are sensitive to each other’s decisions and also to other’s perceptions of ourselves. However if one is committed to being an independent thinker, this book will only reinforce that belief.

I do believe that this book has implications for blogging, especially if bloggers only read those who have similiar opinions, or if bloggers drown out other smaller voices. The Wisdom of Crowds convinced me to continue reading those with whom I don’t agree and to try to look out for voices that may not be as loud as others.

What Surowiecki failed to include in his calculations, I believe, was the human need for leaders and experts. I think people often want a leader, one man or woman, in many situations. People want to trust one person not a group. Would we vote for multiple people to be our president? I think this is an innate psychological wiring reinforced by experience.

How can we change society to work in wiser groups rather than as individual experts? How can we change our mindsets for what we desire? And do we even desire to have groups that are diverse and listen to each other rather than making assumptions? My fear is that as a society we seek comfort and confirmation in homogenity; we no longer value diversity or listen to the smaller voices. My fear is that we’ve lost our ability to be wise as crowds.

Quotes:

the important thing about groupthink is that it works not so much by censoring dissent as by making dissent seem somehow improbable. …
…Having even one other person in the group who felt as they did made the subjects happy to announce their thoughts, and the rate of conformity plummeted.
Ultimately diversity contributes not just by adding different perspectives to the group but also by making it easier for individuals to say what they really think.
p 76

Independence doesn’t mean isolation but it does mean relative freedom from the influence of others. If we are independent, our opinions are, in some sense, our own. We will not march to death in a circle just because the ants in front of us are doing so.

….Independence is important to intelligent decision making for two reasons. First, it keep the mistakes that people make from being correlated…..[…]…Second, independent individuals are more likely to have new information rather than the same old data everyone is familiar with. The smartest groups then, are made up of people with diverse perspectives who are able to stay independent of each other…..p.80

Paula Stephan quoted “Scientists who collaborate with each other are more productive, often times producing “better” science than are individual investigators.” p 316

A similiar study by Harriet Zuckerman, which compared forty-one Nobel laureates with a sample of similarly placed scientists, found that the laureates collaborated more often than regular scientists. p 317

What allows this strange blend of collaboration and competition to flourish is the scientific ethos that demands open access to information. This ethos dates back to the origins of the scientific revolution in the seventeenth century….

If anything, in fact, the more a piece of knowledge becomes available, the more valuable it potentially becomes, because of the wider array of possible uses for it.
p 324 – 325

NASA employees today are far more likely to have come to the agency directly out of graduate school, which means they are also far less likely to have divergent opinions. That matters because, in small groups, diversity of opinion is the single best guarantee that the group will reap benefits from face-to-face discussion…..

This doesn’t mean that the ideal jury will follow the plot of TWelve Angry Men, where a single holdout convinces eleven men who are ready to convict that they are all wrong. But it does mean that having even a single different opinion can make a group wiser….p. 358

What Keynes recognized is that what makes the stock market especially strange is that often investors are concerned not only just with what the average investor thinks but with what the average investor thinks the average investor thinks. And the truth is: Why stop there? Maybe what you need to think about is what the average person thinks the average person thinks the average person’s view is. p 484

Renee Altson is one of my favorite bloggers for the way she lays her soul out transparent for all to see. I admire her for her continued wrestling with faith and pursuit of God despite the intense pain in her life. Rape, betrayal, abuse, anger and sorrow all play a part in her story, described both in her book Stumbling Toward Faith: My Longing To Heal From The Evil That God Allowed and in her blog, ianua. Often after reading one of her posts, I find myself overwhelmed with my own emotions, unable to do anything for a while.

Reading her book ( website) is a different experience from her blog. A book is bound. It is set and fixed. While Renee’s blog changes with her, chronicling her feelings or recent activities, a book is static. The blog provides a glimpse into what is happening in her soul from day to day. The book provides a bigger picture, how Renee is beginning to make sense of her life from where she is. I admire Renee for her bravery and her beauty: thank you for sharing who you are.

I’d recommend Stumbling Towards Faith for anyone who has wondered where God is in the midst of atrocities, anyone who has wrestled with faith in the face of evil, anyone who has been disappointed or hurt by organized religion, anyone who longs for healing and hope.

Favorite quotes:

i resist because the god i am seeking, the god i am slowly finding does not live in that christian bubble, he does not dwell among the petty scripture quotations and the “be thankful” in everythings” and the pat answers that bring nothing but guilt and shame and confusion, rather he lives in every “why?” i ask, in every moment i am afraid, in every part of my heart that dares to be honest with him, in every part that even dares to question his very existence. page 98

in the darkness of much of my life, there have appeared many tiny sparks of light. in the midst of being infected by poisonous people, there have always been people with good hearts trying to guide me, people who saw enough in me to acknowledge that there was pain, people who encouraged me to push forward in spite of it, although much of my relationship with christianity has been negative, and although many people joined together to dismiss much of who i was and what was going on in my life, there also have been people who were willing to separate out from the others and treat me with kindness. in my angriest, most despairing moments i know i forget about them, but they are there, and they are a part of why i am still pursuing god in any fashing, why i am still able to say that i want to believe.

as i reflect on my journey, i see that the offerings each of them gave me were only understood to the depth that i was able to accept them. page 102

i am finding myself engulfed in a love that simply will not let me go. i am discovering that the grace and the hope that i have wanted so desperately, that i have ached for, is beginning to emerge in little things i never noticed. sometimes it takes a big thing to smack me upside the head – a magnification of a lot of little things – “look here, dork, ” it says, “i’ll give you a lot of detail so you can see how much of it you’re missing. then, when you’re feeling despair, you can look for the little things and see them as magnificient.” page 154

isn’t it something that these stories matter? that my story and his story and your story intertwine and met, and that god makes something lovely and beautiful and meaningful out of our wretched, halting words? p 173

The Book of Three by Lloyd Alexander also was listed as a favorite book by the Fedor family Christmas letter (specifically Katherine). I read it on a weekend for an escape; it was fast and fun. I haven’t read many books in this genre, and (so perhaps naturally?) this one reminded me a bit of Lord of the Rings, although the Gollum figure in this novel is sweet not sinister, begging for crunchings and munchings. Also this novel is not as thick or as heavy, literally and metaphorically, as Tolkien. Cute characters, insightful dialogue, intense adventure – and lots of giggles. Perhaps I should pick up another one in Alexander’s series?!

“Why? ” Dallben interrupted. “In some cases,” he said, “we learn more by looking for the answer to the question and not finding it then we do from learning the answer itself. This is one of those cases….” page 9

“I have studied the race of men, ” Medwyn continued. “I have seen that alone you stand as week reeds by a lake. You must learn to help yourselves, that is true; but you must also learn to help one another. Are you not, all of you, lame ants?” p 121

“It’s silly,” Eilonwy added, “to worry because you can’t do something you simply can’t do. That’s worse than trying to make yourself taller by standing on your head.” p 150

I haven’t seen Martha Brockenbrough since our high school graduation. While in school we spent time together, especially running on the cross-country and track teams. I liked Martha. Many people liked Martha. She was witty and cute. She was smart. She was generous and kind. She had many talents.

So I’ve been happy to hear of her success. For years Martha has written a column for Encarta. When I heard she had written a book, I knew I had to read it.

It Could Happen to You is Martha’s diary of her time during and after her pregnancy with daughter Lucy. Like her Encarta columns it’s filled with information and also her sense of humor. The tone of her book felt a bit like a blog, personal and thoughtful, reflective and funny, chapters written in the moment. I’d recommend it as a great antidote to all the what-to-expect books. While Martha didn’t cover medical conditions, she did describe some of her own struggles, including what it was like to deliver Lucy. I also appreciated her honesty as she revealed what she thought about work and life after motherhood. This book is Martha, both the Martha I knew years ago, and a new Martha, a mom and a friend to many.

Another great feature of this book was that Adam, Martha’s husband, wrote some of the chapters. I haven’t read many pregnancy/baby books from daddy’s perspective; Adam’s pieces fit well with his wife’s, true and funny.

Some favorite quotes:

But once you are a parent, accepting other people – and the world – as they are is not always so easy. All you want is for your child to be loved by everyone and safe at all times. Two impossible goals. Too much to ask, but you do it anyway. page 108

It’s moments like this that I’m starting to realize where the best parts of life can be found. They’re the corners, the turning points. It’s like when you go outside on a sunny day and take a deep breath and realize it’s not summer air you’ve taken in. There’s a snap to it, and you realize that summer has given way to fall, and you’re suddenly overwhelmed with happiness at the change, for it symbolizes simple, new pleasures to come: cups of cider, crackling fires and cozy sweaters.

Lucy’s first smile is like this. It’s a forerunner to her first laught, the first taste of future joy. It’s like the horiaon swallowing the sun on a glorious, canatloupe-colored evening. It’s naked bliss. It overwhelms me. p 117

And what if I didn’t feel it? What if doves didn’t wheel overhead when Lucy emerged? What if angels didn’t sing, and – worst of all – what if I didn’t think she was cute? Did that mean I didn’t love her and therefore, wasn’t a proper Mom? I got a helpful piece of advice from someone who already had children. “Don’t expect to love them right away, ” she said, “It’s okay if it takes a while.” p 136

To touch life like this, to feel it bloom in front of you – this is the only kind of magic that is real. p 192