JulieLeung.com: a life told in tidepools

When I was younger, I’d extend myself while training, running as far and as fast as I could go, racing laps for the track and cross-country teams. I felt I had to push against the limits in order to make them move, in order to expand my expectations and achieve my (literal) milestones . I would fast become a faster runner, or so I desired. “Going all out”, to the point of exhaustion and other physical symptoms, was my constant goal.

Perhaps it is that my body has lost its elasticity. Or that I am having a harder time maintaining my physical conditioning. But I’m finding that I can’t train the way I once did. My time to run is in the morning, before the girls wake. If I push myself to the edge of what I can achieve, then I am too exhausted before the day has begun. If I put all I have into pushing my limits, then I don’t have physical energy and the right emotional state later when my daughters push my limits. I know that as I get in shape, my abilities will change. But for now, I am trying to take smaller steps and be satisfied with slower progress. Moderation in everything, even intensity. And impatience. I’m learning it won’t happen all at once. The road to speed may be slow.