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Asking for it

January 15th, 2005 · No Comments

According to a recent article in the Bainbridge Review titled Giving to get: the new face of fundraising, island businesses are receiving an increased number of requests from non-profits and other organizations asking for help. A Seattle Times piece educated shoppers on the art of haggling (can’t link to it. sorry).

Perhaps you can’t always get what you want…but sometimes you can get what you need, if you ask. Learning how to make a request is something I am learning to do.I’m like zephoria; asking doesn’t come second nature to me. I grew up surfing on survival. I’d rather make do than make a request. Rejection loomed large and didn’t seem worth the risk of asking. Sometimes when I did say what I wanted, it didn’t happen, leaving me hurt and disappointed. Better to tiptoe ’round the tulips, large elephants in the room and desires inside me.

Recently I’ve had opportunities to learn to ask. We negotiated in the process of buying a new appliance. At another store I asked for a discount for a slightly- flawed product. In relationships I am trying to speak up and say what I need. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable. But I’m learning I like to ask. It’s rewarding in many ways.

Asking for it can feel like asking for it. What if I’m rejected? Or told I’m a stupid fool? What if things are never the same again? What if I’m crazy to say this?

However, if I don’t ask, I’m also taking risks. I’m taking the chance I’ll regret it. I’m taking the chance I’ll resent it. Or build up bitterness inside me. Better to ask for it.

Tags: journal

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