JulieLeung.com: a life told in tidepools

This panel probably was the highlight of the conference for me. Why? I didn’t know what to expect. I’ve watched and participated in panels in the past that were a bit rocky and rough. And I wondered whether this would become an inquisition into our bedroom life or a heated spotlight where we’d have to defend our decisions and the lines (curtains) we had drawn.

But this session became a great time of conversation between panelists and audience, dialogue and microphone moving across the stage and across the theater, lively, fresh, insightful and intimate. Kris Krug was an awesome moderator, stepping into the role only days earlier. More than one of us had considered teasing him about his own relationship but he was quite interested and thoughtful, listening, learning and teasing Chris a bit too.

Chris Pirillo and Latthana “Ponzi” Indharasophang shared from their experience blogging about their relationship. I appreciated their honesty and openness. Chris expressed how he is different in different places, how the person he is on his blog is not who he is in your living room. I have seen this from personal experience, getting to know him, noticing that he doesn’t show up at my house dressed in bubble wrap or wearing RSS written on his chest. Chris is intentional about which sides of himself he reveals, and yet he also reminded us that we never see all sides of anyone, even ourselves. A small thing can look very large (to others) in blogs, Chris emphasized. He pointed out that people see themselves in your posts (in other words, people don’t listen to who you are but respond from what they think you are, projecting themselves onto you). Ponzi said that in contrast to Chris’s intentilonal multiple sides, she is who she is on her blog, She puts herself there. Ponzi did quite well on the panel, especially given the circumstances. 🙂 I appreciated both of their perspectives and found both to be valid and refreshing.

Maryam Scoble described what it was like to be Robert’s wife, to have many people know who she was or at least think they knew her, yet she had not written or said anything herself. She opened my eyes to the perspective of those who only exist online through other’s blogs and eyes. Darren’s blog widow also asked a question along this aspect. It seemed to me that one of the reasons Maryam started blogging was to have her own voice and represent herself, as well as show what it is like to be married to Robert. It was great to hear from her.

Jen Wiederick told stories and gave illustrations from her dating life. I’d only read her blog for a few weeks so I did not yet know the different ways she blogs about her relationships. I was intrigued to hear how the blog plays a part in her dates. Sometimes guys think they know a lot about her from her blog, when she’s only posted part of the story, and sometimes guys are completely unaware she has a blog. She talked about using her blog as a tool, and I agree it can be a tool, to build up or destroy a relationship.

Ted and I (our first joint appearance!) shared how blogging has strengthened our marriage. When pressed to remember specific quotes from one of us, I think I focussed more on others, hoping to understand and learn from them. (I do remember Ted said something that surprised me – I hadn’t heard it before and I was surprised he said it in public – so I won’t print it here!) But I think we both agreed together that blogging has built our relationship stronger, and afterwards we both agreed it was a great panel.

Go read Jen’s summary of the panel, different from mine, also Maryam’s wrap-up.

Arieanna once again caught some good quotes.

Picture here.

I think this would be an excellent topic to repeat, with other panelists. Amba wrote a post earlier exploring the many aspects of blogs in the bedroom:

There are so many possibilities. Dueling blogs. Linking and funneling traffic to each other. Competition and traffic envy. Sidelong communication and subliminal messages to each other through seemingly straight-ahead blogging. Bloggy voyeurism, bloggy exhibitionism, bloggy snooping, discoveries, revelations, suspicions of that too-friendly commenter. The ruefully familiar phenomenon of the blog widow/widower. “Desperate Blogwives.” What fun.

I read criticism saying (I’m paraphrasing here) the panel was like People magazine, too focussed on celebrities, gossip or personal situations. I thought we covered topics that would affect anyone who blogs and loves. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts and presentations, what we put in posts impacts relationships. Although they may have been cloaked in specific posts or circumstances, I think each panelist shared important principles and perspective. This is a topic I’ve longed to cover in a conference session and I think we made a great beginning. Perhaps future panels could cover specific aspects or scenarios,

I’d like to see Anita and Jack, Enoch and Tania, Marc and Lisa, Tom and Dori and others…(Kris and Sarah?!)

And, I have to say, I wonder why Robert wasn’t in the panel? I’d like to see him on it too! After all I think he’d make some sparks…

Bonus link: for more on blogging from the bedroom see the SXSW Interactive panel Bloggers in Love, Sunday March 12 3:30 pm. take a peek…