JulieLeung.com: a life told in tidepools

It’s the second week of May and I’ve got nearly a fistful of flowers. I walk from the garden into the house with my bouquet, triumphant and jubilant, parading my pleasure.

The sweet pea perfume is strong and seductive. It won’t let you forget. It fills the kitchen, floating through the first floor. As I mix cookie dough on the counter I smell the blooms, even over the vanilla.

Again and again I press my face into the flowers. An intense psychedelic trip of color and scent, into an imaginary world of wild purple perfume. It’s almost too good to be true. I have to remind myself it is real. This has never happened to me before. So soon. So good.

It’s the second week of May. Summer hasn’t even started.
I think to myself I can’t believe it.
This is only the beginning….

An interesting post yesterday by Jane Galt at Asymmetrical Information. The comments are good too. I have to say I’ve never considered the effect of my choice to stay at home with my children on our national GDP. It’s fun for me to apply what she wrote to my own situation:

First she quoted from writing by Stuart Buck (link broken) that included some statistics. Of the quoted 19.5 million children under 6 in 2002, 3 of them were mine! Is the value of unpaid work truly close to 50% of the GDP?!

Then she concluded

So was some large proportion of our GDP growth in the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s a function of political change, rather than actually having a more productive economy?

I’d argue no, because I think that the political change that propelled women into the workforce was actually in large part a function of economic change: household labour became vastly more productive.

Without repeating myself and previous posts I’ve written about household work, I’d dare to say that I’m not sure

Women in the house, other than those with small children, became economically useless to their families once labour-saving devices and modern food processing made 90% of their labour obsolete.

Nature abhors a vacuum – or a vacuum cleaner perhaps 🙂 – and I think that women still have hours of labor to do at home.
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While we’re on the topic of money and love…here’s a silly post…

I like Dave Winer and he likes to have fun in his blog.

Yesterday he posted a mathematical proof that girls are evil.

Mathematics aside, for some reason this “girls are evil” feels to me like something that could be claimed to be heard when playing a Beatles album backwards: where’s my White Album?!

I should know better than to try to play with a mathematics major at his own game. I’ve done that already too many times. (One of the first conversations Ted and I had revolved around the definition of the word theory…)

But I can’t resist trying to have some fun with this myself….

First I’d change the equation

Girls = Time + Money

to

Girls = Time

I don’t think girls require money. Time definitely. Girls require time.

But I’ll agree that Time = Money so then

Girls = Money

Dave and I differ on the definition of money.

The same source that says money is the root of all evil also says that money is the answer for everything. So I choose the one I believe to be true 🙂

Therefore:

Girls = The Answer for Everything

(Did I have to go through all this to prove that women are the answer for everything?!)

But if I may make this assumption that Girls = Love then

Love = The Answer for Everything

Yes, it’s time to break out those old record albums ’cause… Love Is the Answer

Note: Of the many songs by this title, I chose Todd Rundgren’s – and he’s also got some great opinions on the RIAA…”The reason why the RIAA comes off as a gang of ignorant thugs is because, well, how do I put this — they are.”

I know this proof wouldn’t help me pass any math class but it was fun to try and isn’t fun what this is all about?

Epilogue:

At lunch yesterday, Ted and I discussed the above proof (although he had nothing to do with it!) At dinner however, we discussed with the girls who-eats-who of the food chain. For example the kids wanted to know who eats bears? Foxes? I didn’t have an answer for some of the larger carnivores, except I figured vultures wouldn’t mind eating any of them.

“Vultures are the answer to everything,” I said to my beloved. “That’s my proof” (joking in my reference to our lunchtime coversation about what I’d written above)

“Ah,” he replied, “Then women are vultures.”

Such a thoughtful husband I have – don’t you agree?
At least he helped scrub the stains off the wall when I flung my fork at him 😉

Disclosure: Ted and I don’t fling forks at each other. It would be a bad example to the girls…I only thought about it…and it’s the thought that counts…

In my previous post, I mentioned that taking out a second mortgage in order to afford a wedding isn’t wise or necessary. But I certainly approve of parties!

Inspired by what I wrote, Lenn Pryor described a great party he happened to attend. I’m not sure I’d ever heard of a surprise wedding before…or at least known someone with personal experience at one. Go read it – it’s a cool story, one that further confirms how loads of cash and loans aren’t required for a fun wedding….

Or a good party either. Birthdays are another reason to throw a party. I think all you need to have for a celebration – birthday or wedding day – is love and lots of powdered sugar for frosting…as the photo below illustrates…

I saw a picture of Ariel Meadow Stallings with her birfday cake. This year she gets to have two celebrations: a birthday and a wedding. I haven’t met her yet but I’ve had fun reading her wedding plans in her blog, including her recycled dress and her ring made from her grandmother’s jewelry. Ariel’s birthday was Sunday. Happy Belated Birthday!

I know she knows my brother John but I don’t know if she knows how close they are in age to each other. Happy Birthday John from your Big Sister!

Another blogger celebrating a birthday this week is Enoch Choi, an old friend from college days. Thanks to Betsy Devine 🙂 I learned that his special day is today. He’s grateful for many blessings and I’m grateful for him. Happy Birthday Enoch!

May 18th is particularly hot because it is the anniversary of Mount St. Helens 1980 eruption, a day my family remembers for multiple reasons….we were at a party for my brother at a friends’ home and I can still see the kiddie picnic table where we were sitting when we heard the news… many Northwesterners remember too…

Others who have celebrated birthdays this month include:

I don’t listen to radio that often, but this afternoon while cleaning the house, I caught a commercial by a bank advertising home-equity loans for weddings. It featured one particularly eager mother-of-the-bride, only too happy to borrow against her home so her daughter could have flowers and a dress.

Count ’em – we’ve got one, two, three daughters. That’s three weddings we are supposed to finance. Ah, and now we can borrow against our home to do so. How reassuring….I take some small comfort in the fact that I hope we have twenty-some years to accrue equity in our home, in the case our daughters demand fancy nuptial celebrations.

Then again, I take comfort in the fact that we can claim Chinese tradition: groom’s family pays!

Actually, I’m a bit disturbed to hear that people would take out a second mortgage in order to get married. Ted and I did fine with our student-shoestring budget. Our reception featured homemade hors d’oevres served in the church basement, all organized by a crew of friends who volunteered – we’ve even got pictures of them washing the dishes with wild wide smiles, ties tucked into their shirts to avoid the suds. We were grateful. We still are. It was a great gift.

Maybe in my wildest dreams and imagined fantasies, I’d do things differently. Maybe it would have been nice to have a sit-down dinner, dancing and drinks. I’ve got nothing against fun and celebration. I’ve enjoyed other’s parties.

But I also believe that it doesn’t take much to get married. A wedding is only a day. Blink your eyes and it’s over, leaving you with a photo album and a lifetime together. Borrowing money that will take years for parents to repay (in addition to college loans?!), especially when they may be nearing retirement, doesn’t seem wise. I’m hesitant to take out a loan in any situation, but especially to finance something ephemeral and unnecessary.

Fancy weddings are wonderful. But loans don’t guarantee love.