JulieLeung.com: a life told in tidepools

At the end of June, the Blogher organizers asked me to write a bio for the conference. I’ve been reluctant in the past to write a post that attempts to explain who I am. I think I prefer for people to discover my identity through reading my writing rather than my resume. But perhaps it is time to publish a brief bio on this blog, describing a bit about myself for those want to know who is writing this stuff. The paragraphs below reflect the fact that I was writing soon after Gnomedex. That conference helped me see other sides of myself yet I feel I am always changing and growing. I plan to update this as time passes. I also switched pronouns from third person to first person. It seemed strange to publish something in third person on my blog. Then again the first person seems a bit strange too. I’ve changed this version from the Blogher one in a few ways. Here is one version of who I am. Now I just need a picture I like to accompany it!

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A native of the Pacific Northwest, I live on an island near Seattle, where my husband Ted and I homeschool our three children. I see myself as a storyteller, using technology to create community and establish relationships. Communication and education excite me. A published short story writer, I remember making my own books from construction paper and crayons at an early age. Now I enjoy writing and speaking opportunities that start conversations and invite interaction.

In July 2003 I began my blog, Seedlings and Sprouts. I led the Emotional Life of Weblogs session at BloggerCon III (mp3 available on IT Conversations). A newspaper story describing bloggers featured our family. In my presentations at Northern Voice in February 2005 and at Gnomedex 5.0 this June (mp3 available) on “Blogging As Social Tool” I described the masks we make and the ways we connect as we create identity and draw the line between our public and private selves.

Before motherhood, I studied nonprofit management and helped homeless and hungry residents of Silicon Valley. After completing my college degree in biochemistry, I assisted in an immunology laboratory and explored how stress affected the response to viral infection. I also trained to be a high school science teacher, using creativity and hands-on illustrations to engage and encourage students. My eclectic posts reflect my range of life experience, as well as my interests and family. In addition to writing and speaking, I enjoy reading, running, gardening, photography, cooking, sharing, throwing parties and playing with my neighbors, friends, husband and children.

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Kathy Sierra questioned the value of college, sharing excellent concerns and the story of her daughter’s decision:

So here we have a pile of issues:

* Does it still make sense to major in a high-tech field? (and the offshoots I didn’t mention about whether gender makes a difference)

* Does it really matter what you major in, or is the benefit of college something beyond the actual field of study?

* If college = money, but money != happiness, what does that mean with respect to a college degree?

* Does it still make sense to go to college… at all?

But I think the biggest question of all is something entirely different:

Where does passion fit into this equation?

I too have concerns about our educational system. I don’t know whether our daughters will go to college. I hope they will. I believe there are benefits to pursuing a degree. But they are at least ten years away from admissions processes. Many things can change, both in them and in our society. I hope they will follow their passions but becoming who they were each meant to me, may not mean that they each need to attend university.

College cost me thousands of dollars, all of my savings, and left me owing the bank more thousands at the end of it. Much of what I learned for my biochemistry degree is long obsolete. Since graduation, I’ve changed careers a few times. One could argue that I haven’t needed my degree for years.

Was college worth it? Sometimes I wonder. But I know I would do it again and make the same specific choices in an instant.

Why? I found passion. Sure, I took courses I liked. But what I gained from college went beyond the auditorium walls. Alone, thousands of miles from home, I began to peel away the layers I’d wrapped over myself and discover who I am beneath the disguise I’d worn for others [I’m still peeling and revealing…]. It was a time of transformation that changed the choices I would make. For the first time I felt I met people who understood me in multiple dimensions, peers who shared my interests and hopes both inside and outside school, forming deep friendships, ones that have lasted through the miles and years. It was a time of spiritual growth and exploration. I found a place where I belonged. I found passion deeper than any degree. I found love worth my life.

Why go to college?

Because you might make excellent connections that wouldn’t happen any other way.

Because you might meet someone and decide to spend the rest of your days together.

Because you might discover passion beyond what you had imagined!

(picture taken by a neighbor, one of Abigail’s playmates, at a party tonight, with our camera)

Kids are gettin’ into blogging! Lisa Williams posted pictures taken by her son Rowan, age 3. Patrick Scoble has started podcasting with his dad. Mike Houser has made podcasts with his daughter too. Many other examples abound in the blogs. My kids have a blog, and since I switched to the Mac, they now have a flickr page, used for uploading photos to the blog, which may soon de facto become their blog anyway.

I’m excited to see others of the next generation begin to enjoy blogging. These younger ones will know fun and freedom that some of us had to wait years to enjoy. They will have a new culture based on their interaction from an early age with each other and the Internet.

[update: see Boris Mann’s post quoting Jonathan Dillon-Hayes: But, interestingly, much of the work which I admire the most is being done by guys and gals in their late teens and early 20s. This generation coming up after them is going to be amazing when it comes to throwing down with ip, ’cause they’re going to be the first ones who didn’t know about dialup, and grew up with the web. I can’t wait to see how embedded it is in their lives. ]

Yet at the same time I’m also concerned. We are living in a time of social transition. In the presentation I gave at Gnomedex last month [mp3], I described how the lines between public and private are changing. Through blogging, each of us can express who we are and say what we believe. This is something new to our society and world. As Steve Sloan has said, we can write and link our life stories. It’s exciting! However, no one knows what will happen tomorrow with what we say today. This week, as I thought about this topic, recent articles in The Chronicle of Higher Education [via Scoble] and AP [ via Dave Winer] described the potential dangers of blogging and the ways openness can affect employment. Not everyone wants to see everything we might want to write: judgments and decisions may be made based on what we’ve put in a blogpost. I believe also that there will be distinct generational differences, someday those who blog and have put large portions of themselves online will be the ones in positions of power. As I was writing this piece, I came across Dan Gillmor’s wise response to both recent reports:

At a Churchill Club event on blogging and other citizens media a little more than a year ago, I noted the relative permanence of what we post online and asked, “How long will it be before a President of the United States is elected who had a weblog as a teenager?”

[snip]

I’ve said before, and repeat: We’d better start cutting each other some slack. People deserve some privacy, for starters, but they also deserve to be given leeway for what they’ve said when they were young, or in forums that have nothing to do with their employment.

Last week I received an email from family friends requesting my advice: the teenager would like to blog but the parents wanted to know what the risks were. I imagine that others may have similar concerns. Also this wasn’t the first time I was asked this question. So I thought I would post a brief set of guidelines. Please correct and comment. I will expand this list more in the future and edit it. I’m calling it a first draft of thoughts. Maybe it is too cautionary. But I believe parents and children who want to blog about their lives need to consider the consequences. I believe blogs can be a powerful tool to build bridges across generations. And I hope, as more and more people, both older and younger blog, we are able to look through each other’s eyes and find understanding.

Guidelines for Parents and Children Who Want to Blog (draft #1)

Articles on basic blogging resources: Many articles abound. Here are a few newer ones that have caught my eye in recent days.

Susannah Gardner’s excellent comparison of blogging tools in USC Annenberg’s Online Journalism Review complete with a helpful table.

Walter Mossberg’s Wall Street Journal review of three free blogging tools (MSN Spaces won as easiest)

New York Times Blogs 101 article has a list of collection and rankings sites, and blogs to read

Read first. Reading blogs will help you discover what you want to put on your own blog. Watch what happens to ideas as they bounce through blogs. Look at the use of pictures and links. Examine comments, and write some yourself. Make friends. Start a conversation. Comment and link to others! How to find blogs to read? Begin by searching with a tool and typing subjects into sites such as Google, Technorati, Feedster, Bloglines, PubSub. Many blogs link to others, or have a list of blogs called a blogroll on the side margin – this can also be a great way to find good reads. [note: for an easy way to keep up with the new content of favorite blogs, consider using an aggregator.]

Remember blogging is both permanent and public. A blog can seem like a quiet diary. But anyone can read it. Imagine that what you write could be printed in the newspaper, on the front page (this happened to me!) or yelled across the high school or town square. For example, you may want to think twice before publishing crushes, infatuations or fights with friends and family.

Consider what could happen to what you write. Search engines, such as Google.com, store information immediately after it is published, even if it is later erased by you from your blog. What you say will be associated with your blog and name. Imagine what might happen if someone found what you wrote ten or twenty years from now. Who knows who will find your blog and how many will read it. What you say may be used against you. Then again what you say may encourage many.

Respect others. Be kind. Do onto others as you would have them do onto you. Use your blog as a tool to build better relationships with your family, friends and community.

Preservation. Allow relationships to be the way they were before the blog. Respect others’ privacy and give yourself some too. Have a life and blog only part of it.

Give credit where credit is due. If you are continuing a conversation or if you are mentioning someone else’s idea, use a link to let others know where you found the goodies. Be fair and generous.

Be truthful – if you want others to trust you. People may discover when you are lying to them. If you’re pretending to be someone else, playing a character or writing fiction in your blog, make it clear. Trust builds bridges.

Be safe. Do not reveal daily routines when you are alone. For example, don’t blog about how boring it is when you walk half a mile to the bus stop on Daisy and Fourth each morning by yourself. Don’t mention that your parents leave you alone on Saturday nights. Don’t reveal vacations until you come home. Keep your address and neighborhood private. I would not make plans to meet any other bloggers unless it was in a public place, with parents, such as a Meetup. I would also hesitate before revealing IM names. An email address on the blog can be helpful for finding friends and making contacts – but I’d recommend creating a special email address to post on the blog. I would never post a phone number or street address especially on a child’s blog. Some bloggers have gotten P.O. boxes – and presents too.

Protect your identity. Depending on the community where you live, you may want to post only by your first name. Keep your birthday and place of birth private. Also your mother’s maiden name. I keep secret anything that can be used to create identification. I’ve chosen not to post pictures of my daughter’s faces so that they have some privacy and a little anonymity. Photographs, once placed on the web, can be used by anyone for anything. I’ve seen one blogger take down all her family photos after someone else decided to pretend her family was his, and post her pictures on his website. Be creative when taking pictures of people – there are many angles that don’t involve faces! – and ask permission before posting pictures of others on your blog. [Update: see Chris O’Donnell’s Paranoid about Pedophiles post with links to Take Your Children Offline NOW and a counteresponse.]

Post pictures! Photographs of small objects on generic backgrounds (flowers, pets or toys, for example) as well as pictures of public places (parks, cities) seem safest in my opinion for posting. Show something beautiful (to quote Dave Winer). Use a camera to capture what no one else sees.

Let others see what life is like for you! While I believe that children (and parents) should be cautious when posting photos, I also believe that a child’s perspective is precious. I’ve learned a lot from looking through my daughter’s eyes and seeing what she sees, as revealed by the pictures she takes. From comments I’ve received, I think others enjoy their pictures too. Write or record descriptions to share.

Monitoring. Depending on how old your child is, and how much you trust her, you as a parent may want to carefully monitor all blogging activity. My daughters post only with my help: they are not allowed on the computer by themselves. Watch what your child is watching. Of course, kids may want to watch what mom and dad are watching too.

Use a stats package. Check it at least once a week. Watch who is watching you. Find out who wants to talk to you and if possible, continue the conversation.

Share it together. Create posts (write, photograph, record) as a family, as parent and child together. Dialogue. Talk about what you are reading and creating. Enjoy blogging as a family.

Make connections and community. Find others with similar interests or other bloggers in your community. Use Technorati, Feedster, Bloglines or PubSub and search. Check often and discover new blogs and new relationships.

Give gifts. A blog is built on generosity. It can be a way to bless and encourage others. Say thank you. Link to what you like. Find friends across cultures and continents. Tell people in your life that you love them.

Have fun!

Instead Ted and I just take pictures of each other…

Okay, I’m being snarky. Snippy. Silly. Whatever. The image above came from our Wednesday night at the park where Ted had fun playing with someone else’s camera. I’ve decided to stop organizing such gatherings, since the exposure to other bloggers often only encourages Ted in his dangerous desire to purchase expensive photography equipment. [joke]

In the title of this post I’m responding to a response Ted received on his post responding to Marc Canter’s wondering on proper etiquette for blogging about one’s spouse being blogged. Marc noticed that Ted blogs about me. Ted replied that he blogs about me because I have a blog (I was hoping he’d say I was cute or hot or looking for links or something ;-)). Then Dave Warnock asked:

But please, how about just talking to each other, how about getting to know each other so that you know something about the other, how they think, how they are likely to react etc?

If nothing else at least it should provide a topic for conversation.

Ted and I do spend plenty of time talking. In fact, some nights I don’t have time to blog because we have spent the evening hanging out on the sofa together, talking. Blogs (and blogging) do provide topics for our conversation, but we can also think of other things to talk about that won’t ever appear in our public posts…;-)

I don’t refer to Ted’s blog that often but I do when I can, when it relates to a post I am writing, when he blogs about our family. Although I first considered blogging anonymously, I knew I would forfeit the opportunity to write about our life together. So we do link to each other. And yes, sometimes we do discuss whom is linking to whom and when (have you finished that post yet?!)

Speaking of marriage, this week I noticed this article in the Tokyo Times on Marriage Maintenance via Global Voices. A Japanese businessman, Katsuhiro Takada, successfully applied principles from business books to his marriage and now dispenses advice to others.

So what exactly did Takada glean from his business books? Well, the secret to a happy marriage can apparently be broken down into seven manageable points:

1. Listen to your wife attentively at least once a day without asking her to hurry up or get to the point.
2. Share the housework.
3. Do not forget to say “Thank you” and “You are kind.”
4. Never look down at your wife.
5. Do your work together with your wife if you are self-employed.
6. Do not fight. Listen to your wife patiently at first, even if you think she is completely wrong.
7. If there is something you really need or want to buy, persuade your wife daily so that she will come around to understanding why you want it.

[Hmmm, #7 seems particularly applicable to the photo above…] I don’t know if these seven points contain the entire realm of marriage advice but they are good principles to follow! If business book principles can be applied to marriage, then perhaps business blogging principles (such as those outlined by Shel Israel and Robert Scoble in chapters like this one) can be applied to blogging about one’s spouse…?!

By the way, returning to Marc’s blog, I can verify that he does try to bring a database of family photos with him when he travels. Our girls happened to stop by his seat at Gnomedex and picked up a couple postcards of Mimi and Lucy. One is sitting here by my computer…a picture of a girl looking at a monitor displaying a baby’s face. Here it is on my laptop…(oops, can’t figure out how to rotate this photo, it looks fine in iPhoto)

I too want to say Hi to Lucy, and to Mimi and to Lisa...see you, Marc and Lisa, at Blogher!